Did you pick out your Halloween costume on November 1st of last year?
Do you find yourself humming “Monster Mash” and smiling as you absent-mindedly hang artificial cobwebs around your home?
Does the sight of a temporary Halloween superstore popping up in a chronically vacant storefront bring joyful tears to your eyes?
If you answered yes to any – or, god forbid, all – of these questions, stop reading now and proceed with your spooky season revelry. This isn’t the how-to guide for you.
This blog post is for the reluctant celebrants, the holiday haters, and the “I’m too old for this” mutterers. It’s for the folks who have to don something that qualifies as a costume, and loathe that fact.
We’re all about time-saving here at kencko. Whether it’s smoothies or costumes, we want to offer you something that comes together in seconds, with close to zero effort. There’s just one catch: since we’re fruit- and vegetable-obsessed, these insanely barebones costume concepts are all, well, fruit and vegetables. Wear them as suggested for any family-friendly occasion, or spruce them up if you’re headed to a more adult gathering – we practically guarantee you’ll be the only person at the party dressed up as “sexy grapes.”
Take a plain red t-shirt, and tape blanched almonds all over it to simulate the little white seeds. (We would suggest using a hot glue gun, but if you’re making this costume, you definitely don’t own a glue gun.) You can even eat the almonds at the end of the night – careful to not also ingest the tape/glue. If you’re a true overachiever, you can spray on some green temporary hair color. You know, for the leaves.
Pick up a pack of green or purple balloons. Inflate a bunch of them, then use safety pins to attach the little tied-off collar of each balloon to your clothing – as a bonus, by the way, it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing under the balloons. Voilà: bunch of grapes.
Your top, it’s gotta be orange. In an ideal world you’ve also got access to some orange pants. If not, no worries though. The mere presence of orange is enough to suggest “carrot.” What takes things to the next level is the addition of a green cap, on which you tape green pipe cleaners, from which you hang the same color ribbons.
Have a fuzzy brown beanie just laying around, gathering dust? Well, no more! Pair it with a green t-shirt. And on that green t-shirt, you’re going to tape a vaguely circular piece of white paper to the center, then grab a Sharpie and surround that with a couple of rows of black dots – we call those “seeds” in the biz!
That’s right. We saved the best for last, or at least the most festive-seeming. Convince everyone you had this whole holiday thing covered months ago, by dressing up as a jack-o-lantern, which is technically a vegetable. (Or is it a fruit?) It’s easy. Orange shirt. One piece of black construction paper. Cut out three triangles (two eyes plus a nose) and one jagged-y, smile-shaped thing, then tape them in the proper configuration onto your orange tee.